y am i always feeling the same?

can i dont feel it tat way?

hais~

watever it is.

all i want is history wont happen again.

dunno y im easily committed into sth.

once committed will fall deep into it.

den will be very difficult for me to let go and give up.

if reallie i have to let go and give up.

i will be damn sad and it will hurt me alot.

i failed my basic theory.

nth to be ashame of ba i think.

no more swensens.

-_-

going to rebook it on mon with nina.

i will pass the second try.

i want kfc!

i dont want chicken rice.

lol.

=D

met my crazy pri sch girls.

met dolly first at taka.

den was walking aimlessly while waiting for candice and shanyun.

den the 4 of us went to buy a belated prezzie for lisa.

her bdae was on 2mar.

haa.

den waited for lisa to knock off from work at 630pm at paragon.

den we headed heeren for sakae for dinner.

we are reallie freaking big eaters.

except for shanyun lah.

the 4 of us ate abt 25dishes of sushi.

and some ala-carte dishes.

wow~

candice said tat eating jap food is not fattening.

so next time eat more jap food lor.

haa.

the most shocking thing is.

the bill came out to be $111.

wahaha~!!!

aft discount is $99.

lalala~

aft dinner we went went back to taka and wisma for some shopping.

candice and shanyun bought a tube dress from mango.

and my eyes caught a top there.

reallie like it.

but i just stop myself from spending le lah.

aft tat we 4.

dolly lisa candice and me.

we went back to our favourite hometown aka chap lao for dessert and drink.

haha.

hanging out with them is damn great.

making lots of noise inside heeren.

laughing out loud in the middle of orchard road.

tats y we are ourselves 'crazy 5'.

lol.

i suddenly feel tat im a good girl man.

lol.

as in i did not went out till late midnight le.

lke wat i used to do.

coz tat goondu jun's schedule is like totally different from mine.

i finished work den she start working.

or i just reached store and she's gg home liao.

and oso tat another goondu nina.

i tot i work full time liao at least got nina to acc me to crap during work.

stupid-ly.

she is selected to go to other stores for attachment.

for training for the new dunno watever system.

first she went marina center.

and now she's at east coast park.

ytd she told me she is gg to parkway aft east coast park.

wth lor~

den i ask her when she will be back in kallang.

well..

even she herself oso dunno.

yawns~

somehow or rather im like left 'alone' in the store.

sians~

so u see.

how are we one gang able to go out.

well to think back.

my last outing with them was with ismail.

the last ride i ever had till now.

hais.

is very difficult for me to forget lor.

but on the other hand.

u think i dont wana go out at night meh.

to me.

young must enjoy life mah.

but my mother will nv ever have those 'open' mindset to allow me to have more freedom.

hais.

is reallie ming ku not have freedom lor.

when den i can get my freedom?

21yrs old?

till the day i married?

hais.

i reallie got no idea.

'that's what friends are for'

the sentence is damn meaningfull.

and the song is real nice too.

jun called me early in the morning while im still in my dreams.

she need a favour from me to help her.

hmm well.

somehow dunno y i felt glad tat when she need help she rmb me.

she think of me.

coz i always tot tat she got her other friends and she neglect me.

seems like she is not tat kind of person.

hmm but..

who noes tat when she need help den she will look for me.

other den tat she dont care.

haiya suet ah~

dont think too much lah.

she is my best friend.

she is one of my friends who can understand me more den other friends.

hee.

called her just now.

same routine.

she ans.

she told me tat she will call me back.

but she did not.

for so long i had known her.

out of 10 times of her 'wait i call u back'

she will onli call me back once.

bth her.

as wat shan had tagged.

im 'FINALLY' attached.

ma chiam i got no one want.

yup tats wat i always thinking lah.

im always the swayest one who cant last a relationship long.

den u all one by one got attached.

in the past during gatherings one by one bringing bf along with u all.

somehow or rather left me alone who got no one to bring along.

did u all ever stand in my shoes and think for me?

how is the feeling like?

well think u all dunno how is the feeling is like.

actually i wana tell u all this damn long ago.

i just dunno how to tell u all.

dont have the courage to say it out.

every gathering i reallie have the urge to tell u all tat no guys are allowed.

do not bring bf.

but i did not say it.

somehow i felt tat if i do tat.

im selfish.

so i chose to be sad deep in me rather den to be selfish.

but as time goes by.

more and more gatherings.

i used to the sadness le.

the feeling is numb le.

like wat iris had said.

it had been a damn long time we ever have a 'all girls' gathering.

yup seriously i do miss those daes onli we girls de gathering.

hey~

for wat i had said above i got NO HARM k.

tat was my past feelings le.

as for now.

im happily in love.

lol.

lalala~

hee.

=P

hey ya ya ya.

i noe i damn long nv blog liao.

coz somehow reallie busy with work and everything ba.

well somehow my jies noes it le ba.

im attached.

hee.

knew him aft shan's big day.

met up with dolly and lisa to go nyp support shanyun artwork.

aft we visited shanyun.

we went to kbox plaza to k.

den dolly was saying she's gg pub with her friends.

asked lisa and me to join.

so ok lor.

aft kbox we went pub.

i oso dunno where is it lah.

somewhere ard chinatown i think.

haa.

did not reallie talked to him tat much tat night.

onli until the next morning dolly msg me saying tat he wants my number.

den everything started.

haa.

actually im quite stressed and worried abt this matter.

coz he is the guy tat dolly liked.

hais.

well.

he went to ask dolly will she mind if he jio me.

is like...

den dolly says tat she dont mind.

so everything begins.

(:

i dunno will there be anyone will say anything abt it behind my back.

i dont care.

as long as im happy can le.

ntu called me for an interview for mathematical sciences.

the course tat i put first choice.

reallie dunno hope to get in or not leh.

somehow having a mao dun feeling leh.

hmm.

well well well.

yup.

im back blogging le.

sorry to those who still constantly view my blog but yet i did not update.

yup.

lotsa things had happened.

firstly.

16feb is the day tat i say BYE to nyp.

no more lesson.

no more lecture.

no more tutorial.

no more lab.

no more fyp.

lol.

next.

cny.

same as b4.

went back m'sia.

but sad is my stomach not feeling well.

so actually did not ate so much good food.

but i still ate bak kua.

=x

lol.

yup.

went cameron highlands.

nice place.

shall visit there if got chance again.

next.

came back singapore.

busy doing shopping with my jies.

coz to buy dress for my liu jie's wedding.

(:

yupp!

got 1 from daniel yum.

hmm of coz not forgetting working.

not more school liao.

if nv work.

one day u all will see suet eating grass somewhere.

lol.

working hard of coz not forgetting to relax myself.

occasionally or can say quite often.

i will go out with nina, jun and some of the riders.

to had supper, bowling or sit down somewhere to chill out.

we all went club too.

we went hard rock cafe on bai's bdae.

yup yup.

im glad tat i can reallie clique with them quite well.

at least i wont be left out.

if not life will be damn miserable.

hmm ever since clique with them well.

i start to going home later and later.

opps!

=x

next.

is my shan liu jie's big day~!

7mar.

yup yup.

congrats wor my liu jie!

hope u wont forget ur sis hor!!

i bet u dont dare to forget.

lol.

hmm.

yup.

always rmb.

we will always be by ur side NO MATTER WAT HAPPEN.

(:

of coz not forgetting to take photos.

we took lotsa lotsa photos.

hee.

waiting for yun and iris to send or burn for me ba.

haa.

ohh ya.

another thing is.

recently im damn ON with my pri sch friends.

dolly, lisa, candice and shan yun.

lisa, dolly and me went kbox last night.

den went pub too.

tgt with dolly's friends.

hmm well next.

think is my emo time le ba.

seriously.

life is REALLY unpredictable.

u all see and continue reading.

i went supper with nina, jun and some other riders last sunday.

ismail tong bang me.

we all went to bukit timah for supper.

we all was as usual joking and talking craps.

aft supper.

ismail sent me home.

guess wat?!

this morning jun called me ard 7plus.

to inform me tat ismail pass away.

PASS AWAY?!?!

he's died!!

he met with an accident.

is a hit-and-run!!

heard tat his helmet flew off.

kinda serious.

died on the spot.

is a passer-by who called the ambulance.

he is actually on his way home.

within 5mins he will reach home liao de lor.

den met tat kind of fucking bastard driver.

hais.

jun and almost all the riders and ex-riders went to his hse.

i wanted to go too.

but i got a party gg on.

so did not go.

yup.

sad.

shocked.

unbelievable.

the last time i saw him is tat sunday midnight tat he sent me home.

my last word to him is 'bye'.

and its reallie a BYE.

sobs.

did not see him again coz i did not work from mon to thurs mah.

still can rmb the way he call me.

'ehh~ suet..~'

no more tat face.

no more tat voice.

no more ismail.

hais.

ohh did not tell u all how old is he.

he will be 21 on 24mar.

so he is not even 21yrs old lor.

hais.

so damn young die liao.

he got no illness or anything.

reallie lah.

life is just unpredictable lah.

ismail RIP``

hais next.

tom ma chaim bringing me round and round and round.

leading me to dunno where.

he himself oso dunno where is he heading to.

hais.

well.

i think sometimes somethings are meant to keep it to urself.

not even telling ur closest friend.

(:

well well well.

yup.

im back blogging le.

sorry to those who still constantly view my blog but yet i did not update.

yup.

lotsa things had happened.

firstly.

16feb is the day tat i say BYE to nyp.

no more lesson.

no more lecture.

no more tutorial.

no more lab.

no more fyp.

lol.

next.

cny.

same as b4.

went back m'sia.

but sad is my stomach not feeling well.

so actually did not ate so much good food.

but i still ate bak kua.

=x

lol.

yup.

went cameron highlands.

nice place.

shall visit there if got chance again.

next.

came back singapore.

busy doing shopping with my jies.

coz to buy dress for my liu jie's wedding.

(:

yupp!

got 1 from daniel yum.

hmm of coz not forgetting working.

not more school liao.

if nv work.

one day u all will see suet eating grass somewhere.

lol.

working hard of coz not forgetting to relax myself.

occasionally or can say quite often.

i will go out with nina, jun and some of the riders.

to had supper, bowling or sit down somewhere to chill out.

we all went club too.

we went hard rock cafe on bai's bdae.

yup yup.

im glad tat i can reallie clique with them quite well.

at least i wont be left out.

if not life will be damn miserable.

hmm ever since clique with them well.

i start to going home later and later.

opps!

=x

next.

is my shan liu jie's big day~!

7mar.

yup yup.

congrats wor my liu jie!

hope u wont forget ur sis hor!!

i bet u dont dare to forget.

lol.

hmm.

yup.

always rmb.

we will always be by ur side NO MATTER WAT HAPPEN.

(:

of coz not forgetting to take photos.

we took lotsa lotsa photos.

hee.

waiting for yun and iris to send or burn for me ba.

haa.

ohh ya.

another thing is.

recently im damn ON with my pri sch friends.

dolly, lisa, candice and shan yun.

lisa, dolly and me went kbox last night.

den went pub too.

tgt with dolly's friends.

hmm well next.

think is my emo time le ba.

seriously.

life is REALLY unpredictable.

u all see and continue reading.

i went supper with nina, jun and some other riders last sunday.

ismail tong bang me.

we all went to bukit timah for supper.

we all was as usual joking and talking craps.

aft supper.

ismail sent me home.

guess wat?!

this morning jun called me ard 7plus.

to inform me tat ismail pass away.

PASS AWAY?!?!

he's died!!

he met with an accident.

is a hit-and-run!!

heard tat his helmet flew off.

kinda serious.

died on the spot.

is a passer-by who called the ambulance.

he is actually on his way home.

within 5mins he will reach home liao de lor.

den met tat kind of fucking bastard driver.

hais.

jun and almost all the riders and ex-riders went to his hse.

i wanted to go too.

but i got a party gg on.

so did not go.

yup.

sad.

shocked.

unbelievable.

the last time i saw him is tat sunday midnight tat he sent me home.

my last word to him is 'bye'.

and its reallie a BYE.

sobs.

did not see him again coz i did not work from mon to thurs mah.

still can rmb the way he call me.

'ehh~ suet..~'

no more tat face.

no more tat voice.

no more ismail.

hais.

ohh did not tell u all how old is he.

he will be 21 on 24mar.

so he is not even 21yrs old lor.

hais.

so damn young die liao.

he got no illness or anything.

reallie lah.

life is just unpredictable lah.

ismail RIP``

hais next.

tom ma chaim bringing me round and round and round.

leading me to dunno where.

he himself oso dunno where is he heading to.

hais.

well.

i think sometimes somethings are meant to keep it to urself.

not even telling ur closest friend.

(:

kuku shan!!

im here to update le lah.

lol.

yup yup.

damn long nv update le.

07feb2007, wednesday-

went to jun's bdae chalet.

bought a bad for her.

alot of ppl went there lah.

mostly riders lah.

the bbq onli starts ard 8+ or 9.

its quite late.

but enjoyed ba.

jun was kena thrown into the pool.

den one by one the riders was kena thrown into the pool too.

den they drink.

jun and the riders.

she got drunk.

luckily nina and me did not drink.

if not same drunk like her.

jun really talk rubbish and damn noisy when she is drunk.

did some funny stuffs too.

bth~

we went for night walk ard 6am.

but not really interesting.

08feb2007, thursday-

nina and me went off ard 8++.

imran sent nina back.

and tom sent me back.

yup tom.

tat tom.

haa.

he is really damn funny lah.

and oso damn shy.

the way he talk to me.

the way he look at me.

they way he ask num frm me.

its really funny lah.

haha.

wat will happen next.

i really dunno.

and i dint feel like thinking of it.

hmm.

den reach home ard 9.

lazy to go to mc.

so went to sch lor.

slacked in sch.

did not went out coz was damn tired liao.

09feb2007, friday-

aft sch.

reached home.

while watching tv.

jun called me.

asked me wana go boy's chalet.

haa ok lor.

went to bedok to meet nina.

den nina tongbong shafie's bike.

and i tongbong azri's bike.

reached there.

jun there liao.

suppose to enjoy there.

but ended up was quite boring.

we still stay up to the next day morning.

10feb2007, saturday-

azri dont wana send jun back.

so jun and nina took cab back ard 0070.

tom 'suppose' to send me back.

but ended up azri send me back.

reached home ard 0900.

slept 2hrs plus.

den woke up for work.

went to work like zombie.

haa.

jabo off work ard 2100.

together with nina.

no plan for tat night coz all of us were tired liao.

lol.

den nina took cab and sent me home.

11feb2007, sunday-

woke up early in the morning.

went to temple to pay respect my grandfather.

with my mother, brother and auntie.

den went to work at 1330.

jabo off work ard 2100++ together with nina.

did not went out coz those riders went to hard rock.

nina dont wana go.

den we slacked in store till 2200++.

den went home.

12feb2007, monday-

aft sch went to shan's place for my manipedicures.

june and sandy oso!!

hee.

called piza hut delivery for our dinner.

went off almost 0000.

pics: manipedicures

13feb2007, tuesday-

my final presentation.

was alright.

its finally over le!!

yeah~!!

my PRIMARY SCHOOL gathering!!!

shanyun.

dolly.

candice.

lisa.

and me!!

hee.

=p

asked shanyun to come fetch me ard 1500++.

since i zo bo in sch aft presentation.

we went taka kino de coffee club to wait for lisa.

den met dolly at taka ard 1800.

we went to swensens to wait for candice.

we ordered baked rice for our dinner.

and earthquake for our dessert.

aft our meal.

we walked over to cine for neoprints.

aft tat.

actually wanted shanyun to drive us to esplanade or clake quey to sit down to chat.

we eneded up at nicoll highway.

den at kallang.

my workplace.

lol.

dn we wented to u-turn back to orchard.

coz shanyun onli no how to go back home frm orchard.

but we all ended up at vivo.

LOL.

but luckily she noes how to go back from vivo.

den CTE jam.

but the rest of us are crazy in the car while shanyun was so pek cek over the jam.

she drop us ard yck rd.

dolly, candice, lisa and me took 103 to srg den take 158 home.

haa.

but we went to chap lao hawker for supper.

we had rojak and ice kachang.

den i realised it had past 12am.

VALENTINE'S DAY!!

we had our vday together with our meal.

lol.

den we headed home ard 0030.

pics: 13022007 pri sch gathering

14feb2007, wednesday-

valentine's day?

so what?

hmm.

well.

did not go sch.

coz i will just zo bo there lor.

plus my supervisor went on leave.

so i stayed home.

coz reallie no one date me out.

=(

haa.

thanks for those who wished me although i got no valentine.

yun.

tom.

and catherine.

(:

well as for tmr.

dont feel like gg sch too.

most prob not gg le ba.

haa.

either slacked at home in the afternoon.

coz tmr dinner gathering with my beloved jies!!

see how ba.

maybe gg out before dinner or wat.

haa.

back from town~

tired ok.

met shan at amk station

thanks to her '10mins'.

haa.

we went to far east.

and to look for june.

she working there le.

with sandy.

haa.

bought a bag from there for jun.

tmr her bdae chalet at pasir ris.

den shopped ard.

i bought a shoe too.

suppose to get the same design online de.

but the spree is cancelled.

lol.

its quite cute lah.

=p

den we shopped ard.

saw a top which is pretty nice.

asked the price.

32bucks.

we put back and walked off.

=x

den 2130 le.

june and sandy close store le.

june's danny came.

shan's edwin came.

we all went long john.

aft meal den we headed home.

actually sth happened in sch.

but my eyes are closing le.

nights.

hey!

so sorry my dear friends and jies~!!

had not been blogging for almost a week.

let me recall wat had happened ard me for the past week k.

31012007 wednesday-

went to a ntu talk held in my sch.

yup.

den aft sch went to meet june at srg.

den she acc me to reg my btt.

FINALLY i booked my btt le~!!

its on 30mar.

wish me best of luck k!!

i hope i can go thru everything just ONCE~!!

(:

dont worry.

i will remain all of u to wish me good luck when my test date is near.

hee.

lol.

=p

aft booked my btt.

i called shinyi.

she's at home.

so june and me went back to srg to haf our dinner.

met shinyi.

den we went to the pasar malam there.

den we went to a playground sit there chit chat.

there's swing!!

i LOVE swing~!!

whenever i see swing.

it will remind me of someone.

(:

we 3 chat till ard 2300.

den headed home.

01022007 thursday-

jefflina's bdae!!

(:

i went home aft sch.

to wait for my notebook to be delivered!!

yup and i received it le!!

its black colour.

kinda cool.

but still cant used it to surf net coz i got NO TIME to buy a router.

yup.

i need a router so tat my home pc and my notebook can surf net at the same time.

(:

02022007 friday-

junaina's bdae~!!

siew luang's bdae~!!

hee yup.

=p

i went home aft sch.

had dinner den went to work.

coz there's a party at 8pm.

kinda crazy lah.

lol.

sahhidah is working too.

03022007 saturday-

worked till 0300.

sahhidah dont feel like gg home.

so we ton lor.

chiong with her.

we went 7-11 to get some food and drinks.

we sat somewhere to chat.

reallie felt good to talk to someone late in the night.

esp with someone who is standing on the same boat as you.

someone tat having the smae probs as you.

yup.

den i noe im not suffering alone.

(:

den we walked backed to store ard 0430.

den louise called me abt crew attachment schedule for cny.

wah.

ma chiam i noe how to do schedule like tat.

bcoz she is louise.

bcoz im helping jun.

tats y i will help ah.

if not!

dont gif a damn to it man.

lol.

so bad ah me.

=x

den ard 0500++.

sahhidah and me had our cup noodle breakfast.

den 0600 le.

the overnight crews finish work le.

izwan and md noor asked wana go breakfast wif them or not?

omg~

sahhidah and me just had ours.

so we join them for drinks nia lor.

den met thama at the coffee shop there.

we asked him to join ask too.

yup.

aft breakfast.

thama went to work.

sahhidah walked home as her hse is just nearby.

so md noor, izwan and me took a cab home.

coz they can clim transport mah.

so i tong bang lor.

haa.

reached home ard 0800.

went to slp.

woke up at 1000.

bathed and went to work.

reached store early.

coz i expected sth will happen.

so went early to settle it.

hmm.

den finished work ard 2130.

saw my yuan mei mei again.

haa.

she's damn free lah.

lol.

den nina asked me wana join them to go bowling or not.

at yishun safra.

with apit and gf.

shaffie.

azri.

nina tong bang shaffie's bike.

so i tong bang azri's bike.

he ride DAMN FAST lor.

omg~

and oso no signal at all de.

nina oso agree.

but its kinda fun lah.

(:

we finished our 2 rounds of bowling ard 0200++.

04022007 sunday-

wanted to go haunted house de.

ya.

they reallie like to go haunted places lor.

haa.

but we riding here and there.

up and down.

cant find the place.

so we ended up at one of the chong pang's coffee shop to have a drink.

yup.

headed home aft our drinks.

azri sent me home.

ar bo!!

if no transport home i oso dont wana go chiong at night with them.

lol.

reached home ard 0400.

slp.

woke up ard 1100++.

bathed.

while having my breakfast bought home by my bro.

ayu called me at 1215.

asking me to go store immediately.

think they are crazy or wat lah.

nv see and plan properly.

den ended up im the one who kena.

hafta rushed this and tat.

here and there.

sian de lor.

took a cab to store and claim my transport ah.

went early to conduct a 3hrs party with a fussy customer.

-_-

bth~

den ard 1900 i went to kitchen as pc.

tat idiotic mgr from BQ named winnie.

she got problems with my kitchen crews ah.

just come straight and tell me lah.

went to picked on my crews and went to complaint to joey.

fuck sia.

den joey came and tell me to auto abit.

with this kid of ppl.

joey told me winnie complaint to her nvm.

coz joey oso dont like her.

but if she went to complaint to others den its not very nice mah.

ya.

ok lor.

joey oso bth her lah.

asking all sort of idiotic qns.

saying this and tat.

i at the side hear liao oso bth.

hope she is just attach to my store ah.

if she transfer here.

before she got the chance to complaint me.

i will make sure she work in our store till lie flat on the ground ah.

finished work at 2130.

den walked out to bus stop tgt with nina.

yup went home.

yeah!

daren won!

singapore won the ASEAN cup too!!

congrats!

(:

before i goes to talk abt todae the new week.

let me do some conclusion abt last week.

(:

hmm yup.

found out tat im kinda close with those riders in my store.

tgt with jun and nina lah.

and oso im close to sahhidah too.

i can talk and click with all of them well.

but now i think i got a prob here.

there is a conflict or misunderstanding between (jun and nina) and sahhidah.

sahhidah told me everything wat happened between her and (jun and nina).

but jun and nina nv sae anything abt sahhidah.

so den i oso dont wana ask jun and nina.

if they wana tell me they will do so.

den i will give my opinions.

(:

hmm.

gg out with those riders is fun.

they are jokers lor.

can reallie laugh till peng de lor.

but eveytime gg out with them is late in the midnight.

so cant reallie laugh very loud.

LOL.

=D

05022007 monday-

reached sch.

checked my email.

coz 3 dae nv check le.

22 new mails.

wah~

damn long nv happen le lor.

haa.

its actually quite a good way to communicate with my jies.

lol.

den aft sch.

met june at srg.

had dinner

yup.

went to a salon there~!!

thanks june for acc me till so late!!

danny too!

haha!!

=D

i've got my new hairstyle and my new hair colour~!!

kinda nice and damn satisfied with it!!

happie!
=))

nice?

hee.

=p

its late le.

wana slp liao.

nights~!!

(:

im back blogging~!!

a few days nv blog le.

haa.

hmm.

start from last sat ba.

went back to sch for my open house duty.

its damn freaking boring and bo liao lor.

my duty is tour guide.

but sat no sec sch come.

so all are walk-in visitors.

if walk-in.

who will wana register and asked for tour guide.

luckily there is someone i noe there.

edwin.

if not i rot there lor.

at first we stand at the booth there to wait for ppl to sign.

but its just damn less ppl sign up for tour giude lor.

so both of us stand there watch the performance.

den at last both of us brought 2 ppl to blk s level 1 coz they wana go engineering block.

we brought them there.

den we went back to atrium to watch the hip hop dance competition.

zhao was there watching too.

so edwin and me did not go back to the booth le.

haa.

watch the performance till 1400.

coz we can onli sign out at tat time.

if nv sign out consider nv go.

so bo bian hafta wait lor.

wah.

its just a waste of my time lah.

den went home.

changed and had lunch.

go to work le.

yup.

den saw june's 2 niece.

regina and rebekah.

hee.

im not the one who in-charge of their party.

but i got walk in and out see who are they.

lol.

ya i think u showed me their photos before.

and u told me b4 tat rebekah told u her name is spelled as 'rebekah' not 'rebecca'.

haha.

correct?

hee.

=P

hmm.

and den.

later in the night.

my mother called me saying tat my hamster died suddenly.

dunno y.

and no one noes y.

when my mother wana 'play' with her and found tat she's not moving anymore le.

im damn sad.

i finished work at 0100.

i reached home.

my mother asked mi to see her one last time.

and she throw her away.

i cried.

she's a life too.

its like losing a life.

losing someone i love.

till now.

im crying.

sobs.

xiao gua RIP.

i love you.

yup.

my mother named her xiao gua.

(:

my brother oso blogged abt this matter.

im kinda shocked and touched for wat he said.

thanks bro~!

just go check it out my bro's blog if u want to.

its in my link.

hmm.

ok.

back to work on sat.

yuan ying aka my yuan mei mei came to store.

she told me she was with her bro.

hmm but not desmond.

is her eldest bro.

i miss her much ok!

yup i can admit and she made mi realise tat ONLY her can tolerate my temper during work.

i can say no one else at this moment.

not even jun.

tats y i can her to come back work.

but she sae die die oso dont want.

of coz i did not forced her lah.

asked her how's her feeling of waiting o's results.

she said scary.

haa.

o's results is out before cny.

its damn fast and soon lor.

wish her all the best!

lun siong too!!

(:

hmm just talked abt yuan ying.

somehow or rather will made me think of desmond.

some of u may still rmb and noe who is desmond.

so for those who cant rmb or dunno its ok lah.

hmm.

actually i dreamt of him last week.

i dreamt of him and trovine was together.

desmond asked me 'had u found ur happiness?'

i ans 'no'

i was so shocked tat he ask mi tat qns.

will tat happen in real life?

or anybody can explain to me wat tat dream mean?

(:

hmm den last sunday.

worked at 1200 till 2030.

aft work nina asked mi wana join them go out or not.

wif jun and some other riders.

to have dinner and go somewhere.

haf not decide yet.

jun sae she will reach store at 2100.

but nina and me wait till 2205 den she reach.

ya.

she sae she was waiting for her father to reach home to drive the car.

so ended up we had our meal ard 2300++.

consider supper le ba.

haa.

together wif azri and gf.

apit and gf.

and dan and gf.

aft eating.

finally they decided to go haunted house.

lol.

monster join us in jun's car.

so its like 3 bikes escort 1 car.

lol.

yup.

so we went the one next to botanic garden.

hmm alright lah.

its not as scary as wat i expected.

=x

aft our haunted house @ botanic garden trip.

we went out.

more ppl join us.

ijal.

tom.

ismail.

boy.

and one more i dunno de.

so at tat time is like 6 bikes escort 1 car.

LOL.

=D

aft tat we went to a petrol station to wash our shoes.

coz there was damn muddy.

den they lead us up a hill.

to where both side i see was tombs.

yup.

we went to a cemetry.

=x

by then is was like 3 or 4am le.

i was damn tired le.

so was just looking ard lor.

again.

did not saw anything.

not im eager or WANT to see 'anything'.

but i was just curious mah.

coz always hearing ppl hearing they see this and tat.

hmm.

yup.

so..

ok.

den end of our advanturous night @ haunted house and cemetry.

reached home ard 0500.

slp for ard 2hrs.

hafta wake up for sch.

-_-

lol.

reached sch ard 0930 ba.

was damn sleepy.

damn tired.

damn blue.

ya.

it was monday blue.

den aft sch still hafta dinner with my poly girls.

haa lol.

if this dinner not cfm and fixed weeks ago.

i think i will not go lor.

wah tired leh~!!

lol.

but i still go lah.

meet ai ren at yck.

took a train to ps.

and waited for them till ard 1945 ba.

coz seline the belated bdae ger took the wrong bus to town.

suppose to take 65 but she went to take 61.

-_-

ok den we went to fisn n co for dinner.

will upload all the pics and videos we took in my album when they send me.

all i can sae is the video is damn funnie.

lol.

hor ai ren?

=p

reached home ard 2300++.

bathed and wen to slp straight.

im tired lor!!

lol.

<>

today~

ITS TUESDAY!!!

reached sch ard 0940.

yup coz michelle called me for break.

continue and having some progress i my project.

did not see or talk to my supervisor ever since then.

-_-

go off at 1800.

i good girl liao.

nv go off early le.

LOL~!!

den went home aft sch.

(:

so many many gathering coming up~

13feb with my pri sch girls.

15feb with my jies.

16feb with my m'sia relatives for cny!!!

missing them damn lot.

hope our cemeron highlands trip will be success one.

(:

i will receive my notebook on coming thurs.

kinda excited abt it.

lol.

=D

im looking for a budget but quality saloon.

coz wana cut and clolour my hair.

haha~!!

okies.

tats all for now.

tata~

ITS FRIDAY!!

yup.

hope my mood of blogging is back.

haa.

ytd is nyp's first dae open house.

i got duty in the morning too.

give out stickers goodie bags lucky draw forms when whoever comes in to register.

since kena morning shift.

0900 to 1400.

and open house onli start at 1000.

so was quite relaxing lah.

damn lot ppl start to come in onli towards noon time.

these is the few times tat i ever see my sch's atrium is FULL of ppl.

haa.

hmm todae.

no duty for me for the open house.

reached sch ard 0930.

slacked the whole morning.

went lunch at 1230.

aft lunch.

im like not in my lab most of the time.

aft lunch went atrium to see see look look on the event gg on.

got nyp band performance.

string orchestra.

den went back to lab.

den 1500++ ba.

michelle called me for break.

aft break on my way back to lab.

SAW DIANA!!!

ya she came from her attachment.

for the taufik concert.

haa.

den went canteen wif her and nisa for a chat.

aft they finish their meal.

i wanted to go back lab to do my stuff de.

but they ask mi to go atrium to see see look look at the open house.

err.

lol.

i join them!

haa.

the performance was then cheerleading.

aft tat diana and nisa gg for the taufik concert le.

so i went back to lab.

wah!

its already 1715~!!

im gone for almost half of the dae.

lol.

so den pack up and go off.

=p

den went to auntie lilian's hse.

coz i was like complaining to my mother tat i haf not been seeing sean for very long le.

lol.

so went with my mother lor.

he is cute lor.

noe how to call mi 'jie jie~' le.

hee.

he is coming 2 yrs old coming end of may.

den we all went parkway for dinner at kfc.

sean ah.

was eating fries with mayo like nobody's business.

drinking cold drinks like celebrating his bdae.

wahaha!!

=D

he is little sean!!

hee.

how i wish can be kid again.

(:

hmm tmr~

im gg back to sch for my open house duty.

as a tour guide.

lol.

hope will be a fun one ba.

den working at 1600.

jia you ba suet~

work hard for tmr~!!

smile~

(:

reached home past midnight.

went kbox with june.

thanks san jie!!

(:

but i want more!

kbox seems like is nv enough for me.

when i woke up in the morning.

i got a feeling of 'a brand new day'.

well its a good start ba i guess?

correct?

hmm gimme another a few more days k?

let me settle down my feelings AGAIN.

let my heart dont feel so hurt.

let my mind not to think of him.

let my tears wont drop for him.

im really alright.

really.

dont worry.

u all wont see me appearing in newspaper de lah.

=x

todae is the dae.

the dae tat i need to face one dae.

i met him just now.

to return his things.

i understand myself damn well.

i noe i will cry when we talk.

tats y i told myself not to cry and cannot cry.

but i just cant do it.

i cried.

i need to go somewhere to chill out.

pls call me out.

hmm.

quite a few daes did not update le.

let me roughly recall wat i did the past few daes ba.

till now.

my mood is till not very good.

u will find out why later.

last friday.

aft sch met yun at ps.

we went over to meridian shopping centre for a 'cheap' korean dinner.

hee.

den aft dinner we walked over to bugis village for shopping~!

well.

i spent abt 70bucks.

for a jeans.

for a skirt.

and a dress.

yup!

hee.

=P

sat and sun went to work as per usual.

not much details.

as busy as ever.

well.

i kinda dont believe in earning easy money.

i still believe the hard way.

(:

monday.

did not went sch.

sth on~

tats wat i told everybody.

in fact.

i went to work.

all must saying tat im crazy and all sorts of stuffs right?

sch dae go to work.

i went to work coz there is a BIG BOSS from syney came and visit singapore.

well maybe its our honour to have him to visit our store out of 100 over stores.

we are one of the stores tat he visited.

his name is 'guy russon'.

we all had a nice chat session with him.

had photo taking session with him.

and i got him to sign on one of our poster.

felt great to be assigned tat job.

yup.

tats the reason y i agree to work on a sch dae.

and decide to skip sch.

den today.

my idiotic supervisor found out my that some of my attendance is not signed by me.

dont ask mi how he found.

the worst thing is he let me sign a conselling letter.

saying that i absent without a valid reason.

oso say that i cant understand a simple c-program.

den was reassign project for me.

fine!

i sign it.

coz its true.

i did not deny anything.

he is just a damn sickening supervisor.

he ask mi y i did not go sch.

i told him sth on.

he did not even ask mi wat happen.

wat if is sth serious tat i dont wana sae it in the lab.

its just simply fucking not fair lor.

i onli absent for once.

kena tat conselling letter.

those ppl in my lab?!

some even absent for one whole week~?!!

nth happen to them!!

FUCK LAH~!!

damn pissed off lor.

and abt tat c-program.

pls lor.

from the first dae i ask him my very first qns.

i noe tat he oso dunno wats tat program talking abt.

kept on asking me to find out myself.

knn lor~!

until todae.

qiuxiang asked him.

he still need to trial and error.

and still cant solve.

nb~!

still dare to sae i dun understand a 'SIMPLE' c-program.

AAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IM SO DAMN FREAKING FUCKING PISSED OFF ANGRY WITH THAT DAMN STUPID IDIOT NBCB SICKENING SUPERVISOR THAM WENG SENG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!

curse~!

CuRsE~!!

cUrSe~!!!

CURSE~!!!!

HIM~!!!!!!!!

this week is week 9.

ending at week 12.

suet~

tolerate k~

very fast de.

-_-

now im like one step up in my work.

but yet one step down in my studies.

i dunno is good or bad.

just cant do well in both.

shi(4) jie(4) shang(4) mei(2) you(3) liang(2) quan(2) qi(2) mei(2) de shi(4)~

now.

i just hope and pray hard tat i can graduate successfully.

wont repeat can le.

i wont hope for high grade le.

even if i get a 'B'.

my gpa will still drop.

but i dont care le.

with tat fucking supervisor.

he did not made me repeat.

i xie tian xie di le.

hais.

now shld noe why am i still moody le ba.

i didnt talk much in the lab too.

i wana be happy~

(:

hmm.

actually did nth much and oso didnt went anywhere todae.

reached sch ard 0920.

did my work lor.

den kena suan by supervisor.

saying my flash is boring.

hell lor~

within 5weeks wan me to do nice nice not boring flash animation for him.

he think very easy ah.

if easy my lab de ppl no need use 12weeks to do oso can complete le lah.

freaking high expectation of him.

sian~

but its still better den stacking at tat c program.

seeing qiuxiang struggling like nobody's bussiness.

feel sad for her.

but reallie sorry tat i reallie cant help her.

hmm.

den go off ard 1745.

den suddenly dunno y im like having gastric.

my stomach is pain.

aft went to sign out wif qiuxiang.

went canteen and bought a bun and eat.

aft eating thought will feel better.

i felt more pain!!

pain like HELL~!!

argh~

reached home.

rest awhile.

ate dinner.

den ok le.

funnie lor.

dunno y will get gastric.

i oso nv skip my breakfast and lunch.

funnie stomach of mine~

haa.

now waiting for superstar results.

carrie and darren.

(:

game over?

yup.

i think we are reallie over le.

he only call me today.

but i did not ans.

im just doing how he treated me.

tats wat jun told me to do.

she sae let him feel how i felt.

he called me abt 15 times in total for the whole day.

i did not ans a single one.

aft the last call he called me.

he left me a voice mail.

i did not want to listen it in the first place.

hmm but towards the end of the night.

i listened.

he did not even sae a single sorry.

or feel bad for all his doings.

somehow or rather indirectly saying its my fault.

the main motive for him to call me is.

he wana get back his things.

kinda idiot isn't he?!

since i had prepared for it.

so now its time for me to face it.

i do still feel the pain in my heart.

i hope i can stay as happy to ease the pain.

suet u can do it de!

(:

panda just called me.

im just damn freaking shocked~!

haa.

went to the nus talk just now in my sch.

i just wana highlight one point.

last year out of 6000 students.

only 800 are poly students.

how am i going to get in?!

forget it ba.

btw yun~

ntu do offers maths degree too.

(:

now for me to get into uni.

it will reallie be a miracle lor.

not in the mood to update anymore le.

wish me happy ok?

its late in the middle of the night.

almost 0200 and im still awake.

i fell asleep just now 2100++.

coz was freaking tired ba.

and woke up now.

reached sch ard 0920.

i started to do my flash le.

im kinda guai le lor.

did my work the whole dae.

no sleep.

haa.

had actually had a rough plan for wat im going to do to further my studies.

gg NIE for teaching in the future.

tat is wat my childhood dream.

hope i can fulfil it.

hee.

or another alternative is to study maths.

which is my favourite and all-time-interest.

OR maybe~

to study sth to do with business management.

yup.

but everything still hafta depend on my results.

depend on the number of intake.

coz poly students always has the lesser privilege.

btw!

xiu~!

i read abt u helped me took broucher abt enginnering?

haa.

naH~!

i dont think i will continue anything abt enginnering le.

=x

thanks anyway!!

hmm.

reallie no point missing someone who dont bother abt u.

im reallie tired.

tired for wat i had done.

tired of calling him when most of the times did not ans and did not call back.

tired of smsing him when most of my sms are not replied.

MENTALLY tired~

dont ask mi y.

and i reallie dunno wat had happen.

wat has i done wrong.

tat cause everything to change.

so much different from the beginning.

the whole thing can just easily be solved by.

tell me frankly wat had happen.

tell me frankly wat do u feel.

tell mi frankly wat do u want.

hais.

but no.

i did not get those ans to my qns.

afterall.

i've seen another type of character of idiotic guys.

hmm well.

if this relationship reallie fails.

but it seems like failing soon anytime~

all i can sae is.

i got no more confidence to start a new one le.

maybe staying single is more suitable for me ba.

thinking back~

all the places we went.

all the laughter we shared.

all the thoughts we had.

all the plans we planned.

those are reallie sweet memories.

those are reallie beautiful memories.

but they are just memories now.

i doubt there is anymore reality between me and him.

yup sometimes i will still cry when i think back.

i hope one dae i will smile when i think back.

like wat my msn nick says.

im living so strong now coz i noe u ppl do care for me.

i dont want and wont let u ppl to worry abt me.

life still goes on.

(:

ITS MONDAY midnight.

yup.

just reached home.

weekends has just ended.

did not went anywhere but just work.

nothing big deal happened.

i just simply love working.

(:

well.

perhaps.

my life is back to wat it used to be le.

its not bad afterall.

i've got nth to sae le.

dunno wat to sae le ba.

im reallie alright.

thanks jies.

(:

ITS FRIDAY!!!

well so what.

hmm.

reached school ard 1000.

coz i was reallie damn lazy to wake up.

haa.

the whole morning had fun chatting with my ai ren and seline.

ai ren can u believe.

during our conversation.

i can laugh infront of my com in the lab.

just imagine the scene.

like one siao char bo laughing to the com.

-_-

but its real funnie lor.

bth~

lol.

and oso chatted my ah yong jie jie.

my malaysia cousin.

she told me she had booked hotel at cameron highland.

19feb to 21feb.

our cny outing!

den bro hafta jabo school and rush back.

yet i no need!!!

if i want i can stay there till i song.

but i hafta come back singapore alone lah.

haa.

shall see how lah.

so excited going cameron highlands!!!

hmm.

but if things crops up.

might not be going.

so.

its good for me not to be SO excited.

den aft lunch went to see supervisor.

he asked mi to do e-learning for eg2002 de chapter 7.

had draw out the outline le.

hmm yup.

den went off at 1700.

no where else but home.

hais.

all i can say is.

im a TOTAL FREAKING FAILURE in relationship.

i assume im a great friend.

am i?

sorry if im not.

but all i noe is.

im having lots of GREAT friends out there.

love ya~!

dont ask me wat had happened.

i will sae when its time to sae.

or when the mood is right.

dont worry.

im alright~

(:

ITS FRIDAY already!!!

im out till past midnight den reach home.

tired!

hmm.

reached sch ard 0945.

towards the end of the dae.

my supervisor told mi tat i will be doing flash next week.

i no need to do the programming le.

of coz happie lah.

tats wat im waiting for.

haa.

qiuxiang still hafta do the programming.

sad lah.

but sometimes she reallie driving me crazy lah.

todae is beng's bdae!

HAPPY 20TH BRITHDAY!!

touch '2' le.

=p

we all went to bugis v8 for dinner.

mi.

beng.

loon.

hung ming and michelle.

loon drove.

aft dinner.

loon drove us to beng's home.

saying is to send beng home.

but actually the 3 of them had already bought a cake for him.

loon went to picked kai yong up.

and all of us went to beng's house to celebrate.

yup.

we left his house ard 2330++.

loon sent michelle home.

den kai yong.

den hung ming.

den me.

yup thanks again.

if not reallie hafta take bus.

he kept on use his transport to treatened us lor.

bth~

reached home ard 0000++ ba.

hais.

im reallie tired~

mentally TIRED~!